As Hunter S. Thompson once wrote in Song of the Sausage Creature, “There are some things nobody needs in this world, and a bright-red, hunch-back, warp-speed 900cc cafe racer is one of them - but I want one anyway, and on some days I actually believe I need one.”
Here, here Hunter!

I’ve coveted this bike since my first encounter with Ducati motorcycles in 2001, so in June I bought my own.
All excited, and armed with $3,250.00 in cash, I drove the Honda Mini Van (the mommy-mobile, the toaster and the soccer van as it has been dubbed by some of my friends) to New Hampshire to pick up my most recent eBay purchase. Although I am sure Honda did not have this in mind when they designed the Odyssey, you guessed it, the bike fits in the back.

With a bit of a tilt, my bike, the oh so beautiful 1995 Ducati 900ss with 944 kit, gets wheeled into the mommy-mobile for the ride to NYC. It “just” fit, snug as a bug in a rug.
I get back to NYC and make plans to take the bike to a friend’s repair shop for a full check-up. I can not get there till after the 4th of July weekend so the bike takes a trip with me to Central PA to visit the family. The following weekend I get the bike to European Cycle Services in Middletown, NY for its full check-up.
The list of needs:
Steering head bearing
Cam seal
Layshaft seal
Carbs need to be cleaned
Oil change
Timing belts
Rear brake pads
Front brake pads
New steel braided clutch and brake lines
Crank case oil breather
New clutch
New clutch slave
New tires
New sprockts
New chain
Turn signal bulb
Tank has a little bit of rust in it
The forks are pitting
and the killer - the frame is cracked!
Given the bike’s age I knew it would need some work and I was prepared to put a bit of money into it. However, I was a bit surprised at the extent of the previous owner’s neglect. How could anyone let such a beautiful piece of machinery fall into such disrepair.
So, after I took notes on the costs for all this work I decided I still wanted the bike, ordered all the parts and tell the repair shop to get the bike ready to ride.
When I am telling my very dear friend Ross everything the bike needs to get it serviceable he decides that it would be fun and a great bonding experience if he and a few of the guys did the work them selves to get the bike in running order for me. So, back up to Middletown, NY to load the bike into the back of the Odyssey once again for the trip to LaGrangeville, NY where the guys would do the work. The coordination of three busy schedules means the work does not get done till mid-August.
Finally the day arrives. Three guys took three days (I’m sure more bonding happened than working) to install a new clutch, new layshaft seal, new oil breather and seal, new timing belts, new chain, new sprockets, new tires, new steel braided clutch and brake lines, new clutch cover, a new case protector, and new brake pads. One of the guys takes the bike for a spin and declares the bike serviceable. The cracked frame will wait until Ducati can make me a new one.
All proud of their accomplishments they get the bike ready for me to pick up and again, it gets wheeled up into the mommy-mobile for the ride home to the city.
So once again the bike is in its mobile garage for the week till I can find time to take it to European Cycle Services for the once over and the thumbs up/OK to ride. The bike takes a trip to Ikea and Fairway since I am not capable of taking it out by myself.
The bike finally makes it back to ECS for the once over and five days later I get the dreaded call from Jay, mechanic extraordinaire.
Jay: We have to redo everything.
Me: Ha ha ha, very funny…
Jay: NO for real we have to redo everything. Bolts are falling out, master link over crimped, oil breather so loose you can see the seal, now it won’t start, and it needs new clutch starter… oh and the used shock you just bought on eBay is for an Elephant, not a 900ss.
Me: WHAT?!?! how much now?
Jay: About a grand and we can have it ready next Saturday.
So, for anyone keeping tabs:
$3,250.00 for the bike
$1,753.00 for the parts
$1,250.00 for more parts and labor
$120.00 for detailing
and, approximately 975 miles traveled in the back of the soccer van.
Next Saturday is the day. Now that the bike is ready and deemed ride-able, I am picking it up at ECS in the morning, loading it once again into its mobile garage and driving to New Hampshire (yes back to NH) to spend the week with friends.
When asked by friends if I am excited to finally ride it, I am reminded of the immortal words of Hunter S. Thompson, “Do you have the balls to ride this BOTTOMLESS PIT OF TORQUE?”
Frankly … NO! So, meanwhile I continue to ride my faithful 2002 Ducati Monster.

Tags: Musings by Nancy
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